One of my fave moms on here introduced me to the idea that being a mom is a constant practice in the art of letting go.
I think about it all the time, if not every day, in some small way.
And today is a big freaking day for all of that:
It’s AB’s first day of nursery (read in English accent, as I’m clearly avoiding the American term, “Day Care”), and my biggest moment of letting go to-date. By the time many read this, I’ll have walked little AB over in her stroller to her nursery school with her lunch box and a cute outfit and a cute *extra* outfit and diapers and wipes.
It’s cliche, but it really does go fast. She’s now a girl who goes to a school twice a week and she will only start to go more school for more hours, more days of the week.
Now, let me quickly wipe this tear and cut to the chase. What does this all mean?
It means, what new shit do I have to buy her?
Anxiety To-Do List
Buy the cute tin lunch thing I just *know* all the cool kids have…
Turns out husband already bought something… and it’s better.
We got the launch size for AB with mermaid magnets, the lunch bag, and customized ice pack
Pack her the extra bag of stuff with diapers, clothes, and wipes
Send long email with lots of questions to the school— appear both breezy, yet fully responsible adult parent
Order light bulbs
Buy a printer so I can make return address stickers for the holiday cards I swear I will do this year now that we have a baby and a home
Get festive shit for the house for fall. Wreath, gourds, dried corn. Not cheesy though. Cool, chic, effortless, despite thoroughly being planned.
Plan for the “girls’ night” I decided to do in celebration (?) of husband spending night in the city for work.
Random Thoughts & Little Victories
We transitioned her from 2x2 nap schedule to one mini nap at 10am and then 1-4pm in the afternoon — in time for her new nursery life schedule. I’ll admit there was one day where I felt I was free-falling into a weightless abyss and black hole of time, but then we got it locked the next day.
And then a tooth came in.
I saw my first leaf-changed-tree on Sunday, September 12th.
Me with a manicure: I spend the entire first day touching nothing and then the next three days, I go super hard trying to ruin it.
I can’t handle the pressure of such fragile perfection.
Why does it make me insanely jealous to see old roommates from theater camp being best friends with Olivia Wilde? I’m spiraling. Did I choose the wrong bunk?
I casually erased my entire computer and instead of panicking, I used my logic brain and went to the trash and clicked “put back.”
I did not have a meltdown.
I just breathed through it, put the emotional bananas-shit in a corner of my brain, like in a tiny cabinet, closed the door, and pulled through.
I hope to have this sensibility in any high-pressure situation moving forward, like when I add something to my story but want to removed it.
Hot take: Erika Jayne’s social media strategy is proof her narrative is being controlled by Tom and his team because only a bunch of men would tell her to keep posing provocatively in lingerie and convince her it’s a good idea because “sex sells.”
xoxo, gossip girl