I wish you knew— or maybe not— that I lie in bed and stare at photos of you.
I laugh out loud to myself with you. And then I laugh more. I can’t remember where I read this or heard it but I’ve forgotten it for years until now, but something like, “You can’t wait for them to go to sleep but you miss them when they’re not around.”
For awhile now I’ve been really getting frustrated with your sleeping life. And that you are now taking forever to go to bed and that maybe you’re finally in a needy phase. Where you need me to stay in the room with you until you fall asleep and can’t even hear me leave.
I haven’t always been patient and then sometimes I can’t believe how patient I am.
This week I started to wonder if you have a sixth sense of knowing when I’m having a Tewksbury Times meeting at night in the sun room and won’t go to sleep. You hate missing fun.
Our 14 year-old babysitter still puts you down better than I do but I think it’s just because you’re really so totally comfortable being your worst self around me. And really, that’s a compliment. So thank you.
I love you.