LOL
I have dropped everything to write this because I am listening to a YouTube tarot card reader named, The Autistic Mystic, who has spent the entire reading lecturing me to not stop working on my special gift of writing, it will disappear, and if I— and I quote— “… Had a single original thought this week, [he’d] be shocked."
Fine BRO. I’m back. I'm here. Sometimes this is harder than it seems since I’ve been woken up by my 3 year old at 5am almost every day since Father’s Day and I’ve lost my writing window.
Since the potential of original thought is at stake, please find the follow thoughts I never published from last week.
AB’s has been having a long and serious sleep transition (I don’t like the word regression since it suggests a moving backward when all of it is really a sign of growing bigger and moving forward).
It’s funny when you have those parenting moments or epiphanies or solves that bring you down to your knees or just lying on the floor next to their bed.
I had one last week. Or since Father’s Day. It started Father’s Day. Or maybe it started with potty training (the first time). Anyway. I broke through the transition last week and I think may have codified it tonight.
Just lie with her. Be with her. Unwind and hold space. Don’t rush out. Stay.
Simple.
I just needed to meet her where she was at as a return of grace in me forcing her to meet me where I wanted her to be when she wasn’t ready.
So now, instead of just reading books upon books upon books and fighting with her to lie down, I just lie down next to her and close my eyes and meditate. And then she falls asleep. And for the most part, pretty quickly. Because in the purest of ways, it’s all she wants: to fall asleep with me lying next to her. And when I surrender to it, I realize it’s all I really want too. And it’s fleeting. All of it. So I’ll take what I can.
Other “Transitions”
AB is telling knock knock jokes.
She reads stories she’s made up out of books she can’t read.
AB has sleepovers at her grandparents’ house and gets to sleep in their bed when she wakes up in the night.
AB says thinks like “quiley” for quiet.
AB performs Let it Go with an Oldies remix vibe to it.
On occasion, she tells me she wishes I was dead.
She’s constantly telling us she’s going on the train to NYC.
Sometimes she’ll change it up and throw on her purse and tell me she was going to a meeting, too.
She tells me Ursula is a bad girl then starts singing, “Bodddddy language.”
She demands I put Taylor Swift on in the car. She yells at me to put on Imagine Dragons more.
She’s me. She’s entirely her own. She’s me. She’s entirely her own. She loves me, she loves me not. She loves me.
Alice: Daddy! I don't love you 😡
Also Alice: Daddy... I love you 🫠
Omg the Imagine Dragons part hahahahahah