Quick Vocab / Phrase/ Emotional Development List:
“Buddy help"!” - Somebody help me, my arm is stuck in the crib!
“Buddy needs popcorn!” - Everybody needs popcorn.
“Alexa, please play Purple Rain by Prince.” - Enough said.
“I love you so much, Mommy.” - Also enough said.
“You’re my best friend.” - Has enough been said?
Passionate French kissing without tongue where she throws her arms around me and tilts her head… I believe this comes from Beauty and the Beast.
Keep Going
36 is when I’ve heard from people that this is when it happens. When the aging is felt. Not the cosmetic stuff. The body stuff.
PS - I did get highlights and I’m keeping up with manicures but have three broken nails.
My body has introduced a new aging betrayal of indigestion from too much coffee and not enough food. I’m at the stage where I’m sharing Tums with my Dad but not committed enough to buying some for myself.
The body stuff. The taking stock in stuff. The abyss of mid-30s that probably rears again around mid-40s. It’s the middle that’s so uncomfortable. Weird foot problems that persist from reconstructive ankle that will only get worse. Increase in unsavory hair growth (well-documented on this blog).
And yet…
AB said it best when she invented her favorite game— the one where she runs in circles around the wood pole in our kitchen. It’s called “Keep Going.” The only rule is to keep going.
Pretty good rule right there.
She usually poops right after.
Beauty & The Beast and Other Cultural Advancements
AB has spent the entire weekend asking Alexa to please play Purple Rain by Prince. Let’s direct this: a) I have spent AB’s entire life making a point to tell Alexa “please” any time I use her and AB says it almost every time, yet most importantly, THE VERY FIRST TIME; b) she’s my dream girl… listening to Purple Rain all weekend in the car, singing along, dancing, and just totally freaking getting it… she particularly loves his super bowl performance of this song because a curtain comes up and makes a big shadow and she’s super into shadows. “Mommy, I want to see Prince’s shadow!” Me too.
AB discovered Beauty and the Beast. This one is underrated. Don’t get me wrong, there’s weird servitude I’m not comfortable with and a whole song about how she’s weird because she likes to read… and Beast is only 21. Beast is keeping her imprisoned for her father’s very innocent trespassing over a chapeaux feels really Putin-y too. And yet Beast is still hot, despite the entire premise being that he’s ugly. Also, Chip being the son of “Mama” aka Miss Potts… is scientifically impossible. The music is great though!
Gaston is problematic
Beast is problematic
But is Belle? I’m not sure. Ahead of her time or setting us back?
Major Mom Milestone Alert
In a few days will be three years from lockdown, and some of the last days I had full-day independence out in the world.
[CLOSE UP: Saturn moving out of Aquarius from March 2020 and into Pisces (March 7th)]
As of this very week, I have eclipsed my mother self with my working self—and raised AB long enough to age herself into an opening in the less popular age group— where I’m now bringing in enough work where I can put her in daycare five days a week, from 8-5 if I need, and walk there. I can’t explain how huge this feels.
Maybe I could always do this and just wasn’t ready.
And even though it also makes me sad… the ending of one, now seemingly short period, it’s also for the best. She loves her school and I’m becoming less patient and need more and so does she. We’ve always had a pretty strong understanding of each other in that way.
I remember a mom from this group saying motherhood is the constant act of letting go. There’s part of this moment that feels like when we stopped breastfeeding. AB was becoming increasingly annoyed by me, and frankly, I with her, and one night we just had a talk. I told her it would be the last time, we acknowledged the beauty of the experience and all it had to offer and then said goodbye to it. This letting go of her to be a full time school gal feels similar: we’re becoming increasingly annoyed with one another and seeking more interdependence.
Now I get songs like Fergie’s, “Glamorous” stuck in my head for the first time in my life. And so it is.
PS - Highly suggest taking 4 min out of your day to watch that music video. Open to hosting entire zoom meeting dissecting it.